Trading FOMO for JOMO in Perimenopause: How Tuning Into Your Social Battery Can Transform Your Summer (and Your Sanity)

There was a time — not too long ago (well, actually, it was Pre-pandemic for me) — when I could leap from one social event to the next, hold down a full clinic day, and say yes to every invite. That time… has passed, to say the least.

And honestly? I’m not mad or sad about it.

If there’s one thing perimenopause has taught me (and trust me, she is a very committed teacher), it’s that I can’t do everything I used to. But more importantly—I don’t want to. My energy, my time, my attention—they’ve become high-value currencies. The version of me who used to try to do it all is learning to pause, reassess, say no, and, above all, recover.

Let me tell you how this all came into sharper focus for me this June…

The High of the Healthy Women’s Living Show (and the Art of Recovery)

In June, I had the absolute pleasure of participating in the Healthy Women’s Living Show—a full weekend of connection, collaboration, and meaningful conversations about women’s health and menopause.  I also got to take the stage to speak on one of my favourite topics: Sleep in Perimenopause, and I met so many smart, curious, and compassionate folks who reminded me why I do what I do.

It was wonderful—and also a lot.

Behind the scenes, there was planning, prepping, organizing, emailing, scheduling (and rescheduling), packing, printing, designing… you get the idea. I had incredible support from my family, friends, clinic team, and other collaborators, and I’ve finally embraced that yes, I really do need a fair amount of help to pull off something like this well.

Here’s the part I’m most proud of: the moment I agreed to the show, I opened my calendar and blocked off the Monday after. Historically, that’s a full clinic day for me. But now I know better—my social battery (and my brain) needs more than a good night’s sleep (which was a rare occurrence not too long ago) to bounce back from that kind of output. Turns out, I needed more than just Monday to really restore myself. But wow, was I grateful I gave myself that buffer.

This is what I mean when I talk to patients about energy boundaries and planned recovery. Burnout is way easier to prevent than it is to recover from.

Your Social Battery Has a Status Bar—Are You Checking It?

You know that feeling when your phone is hovering around 8% and you’re still trying to scroll, text, and run Google Maps at the same time? That’s your social battery in perimenopause… if you’re not paying attention.

In our sunny-but-short Toronto summers, it’s easy to feel like we have to do all the things. The patios, the weekends away, the camp pickups and late-night dinners. But here’s the secret: you can still do the things—you just need absolute clarity around what actually charges your battery and what drains it.

That might mean:

• Saying yes to the beach day but skipping the evening BBQ.

• Booking a solo morning walk before the family cottage trip.

• Opting for a mocktail over another cocktail.

• Going to bed early on purpose (no shame in loving your sleep more than the fireworks).

• Or realizing your sleep is actually not getting better by itself so finally asking for help.  

This is not about becoming antisocial—it’s about becoming intentional. Because nothing’s worse than showing up to something you wanted to enjoy and feeling completely fried before the appetizers hit the table.

Embracing the Shift (Instead of Resisting It)

Perimenopause is a reckoning—a hormonal, emotional, energetic pivot point. What you could once muscle through now demands your attention. I talk to women daily who feel frustrated that their capacity is changing, their energy feels inconsistent, and they’re tired of feeling tired.

And I get it. It’s hard when your brain says “yes” but your body (and let’s be honest, your soul) are yelling “absolutely not.”

Here’s the thing though: you are not broken. In fact, you might just be finally getting honest about what you actually need. That is not weakness. That is wisdom.

The people I see who are not just surviving but thriving through this transition are the ones who are willing to own the shift. They’re building confidence in their boundaries. They’re noticing what restores them. They’re trading FOMO (fear of missing out) for JOMO (joy of missing out), and discovering just how good it feels to live in alignment with their energy—not in defiance of it.

Design Your Summer (and Life) Around Recovery

One of the most radical things you can do this summer? Plan your rest first. Block it off. Protect it like it’s your best friend’s birthday or your kid’s recital. Then, build your social calendar around that.

When you start from recovery instead of depletion, everything else feels better. You’ll show up more fully, enjoy things more deeply, and—perhaps most importantly—stop feeling resentful about the very things you said “yes” to.

And if your sleep has been off, or your mood is tanking, or you’re finding it harder and harder to bounce back from a busy day? Please don’t ignore it. Your body is talking to you. Perimenopause is not the time to gaslight yourself into pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.

The Bottom Line

Summer can be full, fun, and joyful—but it doesn’t have to be relentless. Your energy is sacred. Your needs are valid. And your life is allowed to look different than it used to.

So this season, pay attention to your social battery. Build in the recovery. Own your evolving needs. And let the joy of missing out make space for something even better: the joy of being rested, well, and fully present for the things that truly matter.

Want more support in understanding your changing energy, sleep patterns, and boundaries in perimenopause? I’ve got resources (and personal stories) to share. Let’s navigate this together.